Return to Wonderland Ch. 3

      It hadn't taken too long for Jack Heart to restore a sense of peace back into Wonderland. With his mother, the former queen, imprisoned, and his father, who had still been in the Hearts Casino when it had fallen, seemingly dead, Jack was unofficially in charge of all that went on in the land. For all that he couldn't handle, Duchess was there to help.

       Although he now knew that all was as it should be in his homeland, he couldn't help but feel longing in his heart for all that he had lost in the last year: the beautiful brave girl Alice he'd lost his heart to, who he'd ruined everything with, even the exotic land she lived in that he never got to visit anymore. Even finally taking command of Wonderland couldn't fix those wounds.

      But being in control of Wonderland wasn't as great as he'd thought it would be. All the responsibility was nearly too much to bear, and he missed the carefree days of the past, when he could explore everywhere, especially the strange and wonderful Oyster lands, like New York, without having to worry about an entire kingdom.

       Besides, he didn't even think himself to be worthy of such a position, wouldn't be able to carry it out well. It was why he'd hesitated to be crowned king, and was still in this limbo state of unofficial ruler of Wonderland.

      "Jack…are you alright?"

      He turned to find Duchess behind him. "I'm…fine," he said slowly.

      "You can't fool me as well as you do everyone else, you know," said Duchess, her voice soft with concern. "I know you, Jack. I can see something's wrong. Staring off into space, barely talking to anyone, spending hours all alone in your room…" She put her arm around him. "Won't you please just tell me what's on your mind?"

      "Nothing's wrong, really."

      "Dammit, stop lying to me!" Duchess snapped. "I've been by your side for longer than anyone else has, and helping you with everything that's needed to be sorted out since your mother fell out of power and that girl came here." Jack noticed how she spat out the word girl, and wondered if his love for Alice had anything to do with Duchess's dislike of her. "Can't you just be honest with me?"

      "You know, you're rather charming when you're upset," said Jack.

       He reached forward to smooth her hair out of her face, but she grabbed his hand before he could fix it. Duchess let his hand drop with a sigh.

      When she didn't say anything, Jack decided to confess. "I don't want to be King of Wonderland," he blurted. He could feel Duchess's eyes on him, but he kept his gaze on the ground. "I don't think I'm right for it."

      Duchess stared incredulously at him. "You do know who you're the child of, don't you? It's in your blood, isn't it?"

      Jack sighed. "I know," he said helplessly, "but…I just…I don't want to turn into my mother. And besides…"

      Duchess placed her hands on top of his. "You don't want to stay here…do you?"

      Jack gaped at her. How she could have read his mind with such ease was beyond him…but… "I'm sure I never said anything about wanting to leave."

      "You didn't need to," Duchess replied. "I could see it in your eyes. I saw it a long time ago." She shook her head, smiling. "So you want to go explore their world, abandon all your duties, follow your heart?"

      Jack nodded. "It sounds so nice that way. But yes; that about sums it up. Though I'm not proud of it."

       "Hmm…" Duchess smoothed her hair back, contemplative. "Can I come with you?"

      "What?" Jack's mouth nearly hit the floor.

      "You heard me, Jack Heart. If you're going to go on an adventure, you're not going to leave me here in this stuffy palace now are you?"

      "I…I thought you would have wanted to stay here," he said in disbelief. "You're mad to want to follow me."  

      "Aren't we all here in Wonderland?" said Duchess, grinning mischievously. She leaned in toward him wordlessly…and he turned his head away just before their lips met.

      Duchess looked down, trying to keep the disappointment from showing on her face. When all she heard was silence, she couldn't help herself, and her heart seized control of her lips before her brain could stop it. "It's about her, isn't it?"

      "It's… it's not about…Alice. I…I've been trying to move on from that; it's not as if she'll ever come back here again, and besides…we simply weren't meant to be…it's…just…"

      Nearly a year had gone by since Alice had left, that Hatter following right after her, and he still had trouble keeping her off his mind. He'd gotten closer and closer to Duchess, but thinking about her always put a roadblock in what he and Duchess had between them.

      "You loved her," said Duchess softly. It wasn't until Jack looked at her carefully that he saw the tear rolling down her cheek.

      "Duchess, I…that…it doesn't…it really doesn't matter anymore. Besides, my heart belongs to someone else now."

      And it was true, he realized, as he heard himself saying it- it wasn't just meaningless words to fill up empty space, it was really how he felt. Over the past several months he'd really begun to see another side of Duchess, who she was free to be now that his mother wasn't controlling her actions, someone that he'd grown to truly care for, to love…

      He couldn't help but still have thoughts of Alice, but that would fade over time, he hoped…and he really shouldn't let that screw with the feelings he had for Duchess…

      "You really mean that?" Duchess whispered.

      He answered her with a kiss that said all the things he didn't have words for.

      After they'd broken apart, Duchess dared to speak. Her breath felt as if it'd all been sucked out of her lungs, and would never return, but she could still make words. "We should've done that a long time ago."

      "Somehow I never thought my mother knew what she was doing, forcing us together," Jack laughed, combing through her thick golden hair with his fingers. "Never thought anything would come of it. But I was wrong, wasn't I?"

      Duchess smiled, her arms wrapped around him. "I really don't want to stay in Wonderland," he murmured. Now that it was out, it was all he could think about.

      "Neither do I, darling," Duchess said, "I'm ready to leave when you are."

      Jack turned his head to look at her. "This leaves one problem."

      "Hmm?"

      "We need someone to rule Wonderland."