Return to Wonderland Ch. 4

     It had been exactly a month since Hatter had appeared at Alice's house, confirming that all that had happened in Wonderland had most certainly not been her imagination.  

     It hadn't taken long after that for him to procure a job, and with the pay from that, rent a small flat only a few blocks from where she lived. At least…that was what he had told Alice.

     In actuality, it had been the abandoned home of an Oyster who'd been drained too dry. And he DID have money, but it had also formerly belonged to another Oyster.

     Remembering how it hurt Alice to think of what Wonderland had done to humans, how that would only remind her of her father, he decided to change the truth a little bit. And as a former conman, he knew better than anyone that sometimes lying was something that had to be done.

    They spent nearly every day together. Hatter had become quite a pizza addict, and on the occasional evenings when Alice was busy teaching karate, he often wandered over there for a slice of pepperoni.

     Some nights when she came home from work, he surprised her, appearing at her door with his signature grin and tousled hair. Gradually this became a habit, but Alice always looked forward to his nighttime post-karate visits.  

     Often Alice just spent the day at Hatter's place. Sometimes they just sat talking and drinking tea, and other times she'd bring over her favorite DVDs and they'd sit together on the couch watching them, his arm wrapped snugly around her.

    They even watched the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland one night. "What the…is tha' supposed to be ME?" Hatter had gasped, when the infamous tea party scene came on. "This is an outrage. My hat looks nothin' like that, and since when has my hair been gray? Not the most accurate depiction of me."

    "You're right, you're much cuter," Alice had said with a smile, pecking him on the cheek.



     On this current morning, he bought a cup of tea from the local coffee shop and meandered down the streets, admiring Alice's fascinating world. The tea wasn't quite as scrumptious as Wonderland tea, but he supposed it wasn't really fair to compare the two.

     Hatter wondered vaguely if the Looking Glass was still in place in that construction site. It wasn't that he wanted to go back, necessarily.

    He really just wanted to be with Alice; that was where he was happy, filled with more heartwarming emotion than the sweetest of Emotion teas could've gotten him.

     But visiting Wonderland would be rather nice…He wondered what had happened to his Tea Shoppe.

     But surely Alice wouldn't be too keen on returning, after all that had happened with her father…and Jack, of course, her former BOYFRIEND.

     He'd never thought that he could compete with the likes of that snobby Jack Heart for Alice's affection…But Alice had chosen him after all in the end.
Would it strain their relationship if Hatter mentioned returning to his homeland?

     On the other hand, he could get used to New York eventually, but…

     "Hatter!"

     "Oh, hullo Alice!" He'd been so deep in thought that he'd almost run smack into her. "Fancy seein' you here."

     Alice smirked. "I do live like a block away, you know."

     She set down the large paper bag she'd been carrying.

     "Groceries," she explained as Hatter peered inquisitively down at it. He nodded like he knew what those were. "Hey, I've got something to show you," said Alice excitedly. She dug in her pocket and pulled out two small pink strips of paper.

     "Right, um, paper. Lovely." Hatter took a sip of his tea.  

      Alice laughed. "No, it's what's ON the paper. Look." She waved one at him.

      He took it from her and studied it, carefully reading the boldly printed words, but it really made as much sense to him as one of Charlie's speeches. "Well, it's obvious to see that it's for some kind of…um…well, er…thing."

      "I guess you don't have amusement parks in Wonderland, huh?" said Alice, gathering up her groceries. Hatter just stared blankly at her in confusion, so she attempted to explain.

      "Well, it's a place, where…people, and kids go, to…um, have fun. There's rides and greasy food and games and stuff like that…" She trailed off, realizing her vague definition wasn't really helping Hatter's comprehension of it.  "Here, let me take this food home and then we can go. I guess you'll just have to see what it's like when you get there. I think you'll like it."


     "So what do you think?"

      Hatter stared around the huge amusement park, at the roller coasters stretching up toward the sky, the numerous booths advertising great-smelling food, the Ferris wheel rotating slowly, everything so shiny and eye-catching. "Wow."

      "I know, isn't it cool? I haven't been to one of these in a while. Are you hungry? They have tons of delicious artery-clogging food here."

       Hatter let his gaze flicker over the booths, until he noticed one in particular… "Oi, that one! What's that?"

       "Huh? Which one?" Alice followed him as he swerved quickly through the crowds of people, intent on his destination, but she fell behind.

        When she'd finally found him again, he was clutching a huge cotton candy. Sugary pink fluff was stuck to his lower lip and facial hair. There were even a few bits of it on the tips of his gravity-defying hair. Alice couldn't help but snort.

        "This stuff, it's- I didn't know you could eat clouds, it's really quite…" Hatter paused, noticing Alice was giggling at him. "What? Why you laughin'?" Hatter attempted to look serious to make her stop, but no one with a cotton candy beard can pull off a somber expression, and Alice laughed even harder.  

       Alice snickered. "Uhm, you've got a little…" She gestured at her own face.

      Hatter licked his lips. "Have I got it?"  

      "No. Right…there." Alice pointed.

       Hatter rubbed at his face - of course in the wrong spot. He sighed exasperatedly. "Do you have a napkin or something?"

      "No, but it's okay, I got it." She leaned in and licked the cotton candy off his face.

       He blinked at her in surprise. She winked at him and grabbed his arm. "C'mon, time for a roller coaster."


      "Are you scared?" said Alice as she buckled herself in beside Hatter.

      "Er, not really, no," lied Hatter. He peeked over the edge of the tracks. Oh my. This thing made Wonderland's heights seem like nothing…at least in Wonderland he knew the ground was stable. "Are you? You know, with your…heights thing?"

     "Nah not really, I know these things are safe." As if to prove so, Alice banged on the side of their cart.

     "Uh huh," said Hatter. He really wished he believed in the safety of this thing as much as Alice seemed to.

      With a sharp clanking sound, the roller coaster cart began to move, chugging slowly up the track. Hatter gripped the safety bar as tight as he knew how. "Alice, you're sure this is safe?" he squeaked.

     "Of course," Alice laughed. She squeezed his hand. "I thought you weren't scared!"

     The cart had finally reached the top, and for a moment it seemed to teeter on the edge. Then with an angry whoosh, it took off, dropping vertically, Alice and Hatter screaming at the top of their lungs.  

     The cart took a sharp turn and Hatter reached up to touch his head…to realize his hat was gone! He spun around in time to see his hat fluttering down to the ground, far below them.

     "OI! MY HAT!"

     "No, Hatter, you can't get off the roller coaster while it's going!"

     "But my hat," he wailed. "That was my fav'rite one!"

      They hastily climbed out of their seats once it was over. "That was insane, huh?" said Alice. "I love roller coasters!"

     "Yeah, sure, it was great!" Hatter said with fake enthusiasm.

      He right then decided that he'd rather be chased by a Jabberwocky than get on a roller coaster again…at least Jabberwockies didn't try to steal his hat!